..did I miss Father's Day?... did I? ... What about the Aussies' Father's Day? ... To Roger Wang, one helluva dad and husband. Sara and I are so blessed!


The Musician's Spouse

Some time ago, someone asked me, "What's it like being a musician's wife?" I'm not sure about musicians anywhere else but here in Sabah, most (and I stress this - MOST) musicians are decent, honest chaps, working to put food on the table. It's no Sex, Drugs and Rock N' Roll, let me tell you that! (My opinion of musicians before I started dating one)

The music industry is darn unique. I come from a family of straight-laced white collar workers so Roger opened my eyes (and that of my family's) to his world. I was so clueless about the industry and its workings, I didn't even know that a blackout affects them (blush), "Guitars run on electricity?!!"

But I'm writing this blog today to list just a few of the pros and cons of marrying/dating a musician. Let's start with the cons, OK? Then you can decide if you want to read on or stop and dump your musician partner.



CONS
1. He/she will probably not be around most weekends.
Corporate functions, parties, weddings, ...these usually happen on weekends. Don't forget restaurants and hotels! All weekends. These gigs (help for the un-musician like me, a gig is a performance by musician/s) mean money so saying 'no' means less money. It's like an architect rejecting a project or a doctor not working overtime or a politician supporting the opposition party...

So, he/she'll probably won't be free for Anne's weekend BBQ, or little Jack's children's party or even your dad's birthday (HORRORS!). It can get lonely because when everyone else has his/her partner, you'll be there by yourself. And people will be asking, "Where's what's his/her name?"

And oh, Valentine's Day...! Just celebrate it early.


2. Your family's going to be terribly suspicious of him/her
"What does he do? Musician, ah?!!! Aiyoh...how to feed his wife??? Can cari makan, meh?"

3. Straying eyes/hands - so much temptation, so many fans
Let's face it. If your partner tends to enjoy little treats outside the sanctity (whoa! I sound like my mom!)of your relationship, he/she will do it, regardless of occupation. Let's see, what's the job that requires least interaction? Lab technician? A mortician? They never cheat?

So it all depends on your partner. And I suppose you got to trust him/her. This one's hard but just give it time. Know your partner better. But then again, who am I to give marital advice, eh? We're just six years into our marriage.

4. Carrying bags
Huh? you wonder. Now, if you are married/dating a guitarist - a finger-style guitarist - you'll find out in due time that his/her nails are very important to him/her. Instead of using a guitar pick, they use their nails. So if they've got a gig coming up, chances are you'll probably be carrying all the grocery bags, the luggage, the shopping bags because he/she can't risk breaking his/her nails.

And it's not just carrying bags, I just simplified the heading. It is opening tin cans, it's closing an umbrella, it's many little things that we take for granted and don't notice until you start dating a finger-style guitarist.


PROS
1. You get to go to a lot of concerts - and you don't even have to beg him
He/she's going to want to go to a lot of concerts, plays, etc because he/she truly enjoys them. A lot of girlfriends I know beg and beg and beg their boyfriends to go to one of these but they'd rather be watching football on TV at home instead.

2. Live concert right at home
He/she's going to sing a lot, play (in my case, guitar)a lot at home so it's like being at a live concert most of the time. But then again, I married a guitarist, not a drummer. Maybe a drummer's partner won't be as thrilled with him/her performing at home.

3. Odd day off
He/she will have her day off from work on a weekday. Monday, Tuesday...it's Heaven going grocery shopping/window shopping on weekdays. No crowds, no energetic loud kids. No queues. You can take your time. And restaurants serve you fast because again, there's no crowd!

4. Sometimes, he/she writes a song just for you...